I have been watching YouTube videos, as always, and I noticed an influx of naturals relaxing their hair. Before we even start this blog post I want to say that what you choose to do with your hair is your choice! This blog post is specifically for the reasons why most of these women went back to relaxed hair. I also want to dive into the idea of whether going back to relaxers are right or wrong.



Many of the ex naturals spoke on the amount of time it took to style and care for their hair. Many said that their hair was always dry and never happy and that striking a healthy balance was too hard. They felt that they had to spend so much time on their hair that just wasn’t the case for their relaxed hair.


There was too much pressure to have a certain aesthetic or look. They felt unable to achieve this look. If they could achieve the look then, maintaining the look was exhausting.

3.Wanted a change

They felt that natural hair had put them in a box. They wanted to try something else and completely change their hair. It was also easier to blend their hair in wigs. Most of the women I saw spoke about how wanting relaxed-looking extensions for black women would mean pressing their hair regularly, which would be damaging.


There is always a new product or surge of products necessary to maintain their hair. They want more manageable hair that won’t go through so much product every wash or style day.

5.Loss of appeal

Natural hair was great but they are just am over it. One had a video with the exact words “I’m Over It!”. They want to go back to what they are comfortable with managing and be done with being natural.

My observations:

I noticed a lot of these women felt obligated to explain to the natural community why they decided to relax their hair. While some of them have followers that are watching them for natural hair videos so it makes sense, for others it left me wondering about the state of the natural hair community. With the way these videos were coming out they seemed like apology videos! They seemed to be bracing themselves for an onslaught of judgment and ridicule! I would hope that that isn’t what the natural community is about but maybe it has taken on a more shallow meaning. For me, the natural hair movement and community was a place to come together and create a safe haven for women to grow experiment a learn about their hair. Tell me down below, how do you feel about the natural hair community in general?

Is relaxing your hair wrong?

One of the debates I saw on Tumblr, a social media platform, was also speaking on this topic of whether being natural is a requirement and if going back to relaxer is a sign that you are running from your true self. The debate was heated and had decent points from two main perspectives that I will share

Team “No Relaxer”

Many of the women who go back to relaxers are lazy. They would rather damage their hair then take pride in the crown on their heads. Going to relaxers are just condoning the beauty standards we are trying to fight. How can you truly be comfortable with who you are if you can accept yourself fully? This is a form of self-hate and ethnic repression.

Team “Relaxer”

There is no reason why my hair should affect who I am as a person. I can fully accept my self and know myself well enough o know what I can or can’t put up with. There are many “woke” and “aware” people and hair aren’t what made them that way. Truly accepting yourself is being happy and loving yourself with what God gave you but, also having the free will to switch it up. How can you be about self-acceptance and positive vibes if you are judging people for the hairstyle they choose to wear.

My Opinion

My opinion is very straight forward. I believe as long as you aren’t hurting anyone and staying true to yourself, it doesn’t matter what you do. I apply this to surgery, tattoos, hairstyles, and whatever else. We are not all the same and what we want for ourselves are not the same! I will say that there are women who should work on their self-confidence and self-identity. The journey to being comfortable with who you are takes time and no one’s journey looks the same. Also, I believe hair is hair and if they don’t like relaxed hair they can cut it off and try again. Just like if they have natural hair they can relax it or texturize it. There are so many options and possibilities out there for expression and I don’t think you should allow anyone to shame you into a box. Tell me down below how you feel when it comes to this debate, do you think relaxers are a backward step or do you think it’s just a style choice.